1. Horsemen 2-0 - With second win
in as many games, Beckage can’t even tank
properly. Probably the most consistent
scoring of the 2-0 teams, at this point.
We’ll see if this high-ceiling/low-floor
team can keep it rolling and stay ahead a
pack of 1-1 dogs. Me and you this week for
bragging rights.
2. Gamblers 1-1 - I know, I know, 3rd in
the division BUT 1-1 with a solid win over
division opponent Endzone Animals and 190
PF, Team Cholewka will be in contention all
season. If Brain Thomas Jr stops
alligator-arming throws, they can be a
serious contender again.
3. Terry Shiavos – 2-0 and leads the
West on a tie breaker. Solid anchors on this
team, w/Love at QB, Kraft at TE, and Rams-D.
However, the roster is pretty thin
elsewhere, so AJ Brown better re-introduce
himself to Hurts, or Mr. Greenman’s team
will be gasping for air come the bye week
chaos. (Too soon?)
4. Bohemians – 2-0 and, much like
the Bills, can win with or without Josh
Allen at peak production. SWM seeks TE. Meet
me at Ellicott Creek Park, third stall on
the left. We’ll talk. West is THE dominant
division.
5. Cellmates - 1-1 and 189 PF, Big
win over a division rival dating back to the
1800s. Start Walker over Chubb, maybe? Solid
team in all facets should keep you at or
near the top of a weak division. Romey
sucks!
6. Buffalo 66 – Man, 1-1 w/190 PF
has to hurt. Absolutely, stacked roster
everywhere except QB. Mac Jones may be your
hero and the ick factor would make any mere
mortal seek refuge. But not Dan!
7. Endzone Animals 1-1 - and solid
team, but mired in 4th place
in what looks like a highly contested
division. Tough loss. Blame Zelensky. Or
Clinton….I can never keep track.
8. Co’s Pro’s 1-1 - I know,
100+ in a win over Buffalo 66, but be
honest…no one had Goff 330yds/5TDs on their
Bingo card. 190 PF to your 149? Mark
Andrews? I thought my TE sitch was bad. Yet,
somehow AC finds away. Hope for Xavier
Worthy’s return sooner rather than later.
9. DDR 1-1 - tough loss to
new guy, but good news is your 181 PF should
turn your (bad) luck around and keep this
team at pace w/Cellmates. No one else to
worry about in the Central.
10. Incubus 1-1 – high variance,
boom/bust play on any given week doesn’t
bode well for a team hoping to tug (ahem)
itself free from the four team second place
circle jerk in the East.
11. Goodfellas 0-2 – Good lord,
you’re in the basement bed w/Roberts. I feel
a mid-season turn-around if Kittle gets
healthy and Daniels figures it out. But it
may be too late by then.
12. TBD 1-1 - last of the 2nd place
4 team circle jerk in the East. Caleb is
slowly getting his shit together, but maybe
too slowly. Do me a solid, call yer boy and
remind him Loveland is on HIS team. Help me
help you.
13. Goats 0-2 – I feel toe bad about
this, but toe division losses in toe games
outta the gate is really bad. You better
kick it into gear against Co’s Pros this
week, or you and Toe Burrow will have toe
wait till 2026 toe put your best foot
forward.
14. Utter Dominance 0-2 – 118 PF.
See Beckage for tanking advice. Nuff
said.